Don’t Go to Bed Angry. Stay Up and Fight! (Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press, 2016)

Don’t Go to Bed Angry: Stay Up and Fight is a guide to help couples deal with marital conflict in a way that honors Christ and the marriage vows. The book explores the importance of healthy conflict and provides tools to learn how to express it in a way that aligns with scripture and allows the couple to develop a relationship of genuine understanding and intimacy.

Men marry women thinking, “I hope she never changes.” Women marry men thinking, “I can change him.” The resulting struggle creates disappointment, dissatisfaction, and sometimes divorce. And Christians are not immune to this experience.

My husband and I beat the odds. We met at 16, married at 19, and find ourselves 38 years later, a very happy couple. We are not immune to conflict, but we’ve learned how to let it change us together as a couple in ways that have built and strengthened our marriage.

We believe that conflict is not the real problem. It’s how we deal with the conflict that is important. It can lead to discovery—greater insight and understanding of thoughts, feelings, and perspective. But if handled poorly, it can lead to damage, and ultimately, destruction of the relationship. When we shoot from the hip, we may both walk away wounded.

This book is not a memoir of our marriage. Instead, we will share the stories of men and women just like you. We will unearth the treasure found in both their struggles and their triumphs. Throughout, we will explore the instruction for marriage found in the Bible, our ultimate user’s guide to marriage, honoring it as the authority in the life of the believer.

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