Deb’s Newest Book – Released on June 21, 2016
Written with her husband, Ron.
Conflict is not the problem. It’s how we deal with it that makes it a problem.
- The question: Do we align our conflict communication with the Word of God in our marriages? Are we communicating in love? Or as the prosecuting attorney—under the law? Don’t Go to Bed Angry will examine the characteristics of each of these approaches, and will provide tools to help—whatever the condition of the relationship might be.
- We believe that conflict is not the real problem. It’s how we deal with the conflict that is important. It can lead to discovery—greater insight and understanding of thoughts, feelings, and perspective. But if handled poorly, it can lead to damage, and ultimately, destruction of the relationship. When we shoot from the hip, we may both walk away wounded.
This is a book of tools, concepts, and worksheets designed to help each couple achieve the vision that God had when He placed Adam and Eve in the garden. Unity. Agreement. Power—found in marriage only when we authentically become one flesh.
I Choose You Today: 31 Choices to Make Love Last
Deb’s Second Book – Released on January 6, 2015!
What’s the secret for hanging on to the happily ever after feelings from the day you said, “I do?”
It could be as simple as four little words: I Choose You Today
Whatever you feed, grows…. Words have the power to create. They also have the power to destroy. Everyday you have the power to choose which it will be for your marriage.
The spoken word is powerful. God spoke the world and life itself into existence. We enter into life in Christ by a confession of our mouth. We will overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony. Faith, spoken, moves mountains. Our words can bless or curse. Words count.
What if we could enrich and preserve our marriages, breathing life into them by a daily profession of commitment to our relationship—one that aligns with the Word of God? Regardless of how we may feel in the moment, choosing to bless, not curse our union.
Married for nearly 40 years, Deb and her husband have made the declaration, “I Choose You Today” a regular part of their communication. “It’s when we least feel like it that we need to remind ourselves that love is a choice. Sometimes it’s with a smile and a hug, and other times it’s through gritted teeth. But it always brings us back to center – our desire to align our lives with the Word of God.”
In a society that embraces “no-fault” divorce and a disposable, one-time-use mindset, authentic commitment is hard to achieve. God asks more of us—He asks it for us because His intention is always to benefit His children. He knows a life committed to living the scripture—being patient, kind, offering forgiveness, and loving one another heaps rewards on those willing to choose it. Everybody wins and Christ is honored.
I Choose You Today is a tool for encouraging couples to walk daily not only as husband and wife, but also as brother and sister, united in the Lord to live the life that He meant for us to enjoy
What People Are Saying About the Book
“It’s often been said that our choices define us. That’s true personally, but it’s also a key to our relationships. Deb DeArmond has provided a practical and insightful book detailing 31 choices we can make as husbands and wives that have the potential to transform even a good marriage – and make it a great one.” –Greg Smalley, Vice President of Family Ministry, Focus on the Family
“There is no deeper joy in life than great love. Fortunately for us, I Choose You Today, gives us a clear roadmap to achieving it with our spouse. Every couple- married or not- will benefit from reading Ms. DeArmond’s book.” Meg Meeker, M.D., best-selling author of Strong Fathers,Strong Daughters and Co-host of Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk radio broadcast
“Wow. Deb DeArmond’s new book, I Choose You Today, is simply outstanding! It should be required reading for all young couples getting married or even those contemplating divorce. Time and again I was inspired by new insights that appeared in every chapter. If you want a better marriage, this book is essential reading.” Rick Johnson, bestselling author of Becoming Your Spouse’s Better Half and Romancing Your Better Half
Related by Chance, Family by Choice
Transforming Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law Relationships
What does it take to create true family unity between moms and the women who marry their sons?
The caricatures are everywhere, the jokes are inexhaustible, and the stereotypes fill the screens. From Marie Barone (Everyone Loves Raymond) to Viola Fields (Monster-in-Law) to Internet sites and social media pages like ihatemyinlaws.com and a Facebook page for ihatemymotherinlaw there is no shortage of examples of the caustic relationships that can develop between the two women in a man’s life.
Deb DeArmond and her three daughters-in-law have conducted their own exhaustive research into the status of the women-in-law relationship. Their research, which incorporated online surveys, interviews, and discussions, included asking about the faith factor in the relationships they studied. Of the respondents, nearly 90 percent claimed they were Christians, and 79 percent said their faith was foundational and guided their actions and decisions. As discouraging as it may be, the numbers of those they surveyed who reported that their women-in-law relationships were “bad” were nearly identical to those in a survey conducted by a popular secular website that recorded no statistics on faith.
Beyond the statistics and their analysis, Deb brings to this book more than thirty years working with adults to improve communications and deal constructively with conflict. Aside from her research and her professional expertise, perhaps the most important asset Deb brings to this work is her own relationship with her three daughters-in-law that is so obviously and unusually positive that she—and they—are often asked to explain the secret of the relationships they share.
This practical and unapologetically scriptural book covers issues of personal perceptions, strained communication, the roles of sons and fathers in the relationship’s success, how to begin these relationships on the right foot, and the necessity of trust and love. Deb’s one motivating objective is to help women-in-law move from women who are simply related to strong and confident members of a truly spiritual family.
What People Are Saying About the Book
“There wouldn’t be so many in-law jokes if more mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law read Related by Chance, Family by Choice. Deborah DeArmond provides tips, strategies, and stories to assist women in navigating these sometimes murky waters, helping families find clear sailing for the years ahead. Don’t miss this book!”
co-author of Just 18 Summers (releasing in spring 2014)
“As a mother-in-law to five daughters-in-law, each with completely unique personalities, this book is a godsend of encouragement. No relationship is fraught with more possibilities of a close lifelong friendship, or going terribly wrong. Every mother of a grown son, and every woman who marries a man with a mama, needs this book. So thankful someone had the wisdom and courage to write it!”<br/Becky Johnson
co-author of We Laugh, We Cry, We Cook
“Related by Chance is a terrific tool for all relationships, and especially for the sometimes touchy in-law variety. Using interesting quizzes and facts, Deb DeArmond has made could have been a painful subject into a fascinating relational journey. She has paired thirty years of being a corporate trainer with thirty-plus years as a Christ-following mother, and written a challenging book that is also fun! Related by Chance is terrific.”
Joann Cole Webster
Vice President, Christian Men’s Network
Co-chair Global Operations, Billion Soul Network
“Deborah DeArmond’s new book, Related by Chance, Family by Choice teaches how to evaluate “in-law” relationships with Biblical acuity and perceptiveness. She winsomely persuades that “in-law” relationships can truly be “in-love” relationships. You will profoundly benefit from Deborah’s keen insight into the scriptures and her down to earth illustrations and practical life applications. ”
Author of Identity Theft: Whose Life Are You Living?
“Related by Chance, Family By Choice by Deborah DeArmond is original and fresh—full of excellent insights, tips, and probing exercises that encourage you to consider the perspective of your own “women-in-laws.” I love the fact that it exposes the world’s view of the “in-law” mentality and emphasis how to build stronger more loving relationships with your “in-loves.”
Editor-in-chief for LivingBetter50.com
“With godly wisdom, insight, and abundant ideas and tips, Deborah DeArmond equips “women-in-law” who love the same man with all they need to do life together well. The book is an excellent resource that I will refer to again and again.”
author or co-author of five books, including I Believe in Healing
and I Believe in Heaven (with Cecil Murphey)
“Twenty-six years of ministry to men, I never realized how little I knew or considered my wife’s (or my own) relationship with our daughter-in-law(love, Lord). Deb’s in-depth & concise communication gift reveals the necessary ingredients for the family God meant us to experience. Thank you for opening my “eyes” after 45 years of marriage.”
founder, Faithful Men Ministries